I’m not a confident person. Everything I’ve ever succeeded at started with the words “I can’t do that.” It’s a wonder I accomplished anything at all.
I’m sure there are a lot of things that would have been really fun, but I never tried. The fear of not succeeding, the worry that I wouldn’t be able to do it, stymied me.
But one day, it occurred to me: If I try something, and I don’t like it, I can just quit. It seems contradictory, I know. Especially when we’re constantly thumped with adages like “A quitter never wins and a winner never quits” or “You’re never a loser until you quit trying.” But let me explain.
Thinking about trying something new can be overwhelming. The pressure we put on ourselves starts to build and that’s when the little self-defeatist voice starts whispering in our ear. Before we know it, we’re back on the sofa watching re-runs of Downton Abbey, wondering why Mary and Mathew couldn’t just make it work from the beginning. So many wasted years!
If we look at a project in steps, and after each step we say… “If I don’t like it, I can quit.” Suddenly it doesn’t feel as daunting. The pressure is off and very little is lost. And knowing that helps make the learning fun.
In 2012, I decided to learn the ukulele. I have always wanted to play a musical instrument, but thought it would be too hard. My fingers are short and I have bad hand/eye co-ordination. But when I saw the price of a uke was like 25 bucks, I thought, “What the heck. I’ve wasted 25 bucks on dumber things.” And because I took that first step, I now know 6 chords - which is way more than you need for most ukulele songs.
Quitting is an invisible safety net that makes it okay to try. And I’ve found once I get over that first block of trying, I don’t need the safety net. With the pressure off, I don’t feel the need to be good at anything right away, which allows me to make the mistakes I need to so I can get good. Knowing I can quit makes me want to try.
Here are some things I never thought I could do, but learned during the pandemic… when nothing mattered anyway. How to:
Build a website
Design things on Canva
Edit videos
Do a hilarious amount of crafts
Make this newsletter!
Carve a cool jack-o-lantern
So why am I telling you all this?
Because we’re charging head first into the big food holidays. And hopefully, where ever you are, it is safe to gather again. AND if it is safe to gather again and you want to gather your people, and you’re thinking maybe it would be fun to feed your friends… I would hate for you to think you couldn’t do it. I would hate for you to think there was anything you couldn’t do!
So I encourage you to try. This year, more than ever, your guests care about seeing you not what is on their plate. If you google a recipe and it looks to daunting, find something a bit easier. If you cook something, and it’s a disaster, order in. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means you’re learning.
And I can almost guarantee it won’t be a disaster.
So there you go. Pressure’s off. Take that first step. Look at some recipes. Here’s one to get you started. (Pro tip: If you’re nervous about cooking for people, invite them over for brunch… It’s easy, inexpensive, & many people love getting day drunk!)
Thanks Jan! So true - I turned 50 this year and decided to try to list/complete 50 things I've never done before - the list isn't to 50 yet (I also put no end time on that) but yes, made macarons, went on the Peak to Peak chair at Whistler, visited a new to me national and provincial park, and drank scotch neat :). God I want that PB cake in your pic....
So true about trying new things Jan! I have a few things up my sleeve to try. I actually snorted out loud when I read Lavander Holyfield as the name of one of your ukes!! Hope you and Sheldon are doing well! Going to try your frittata recipe (served with lots of wine of course just in case it doesn't work out well). You are looking good girl!